“One-thousand eight-hundred and fifty-five days” Kendrick had been goin’ through something. On May 13 2022, Kendrick Lamar would end the five year musical hiatus with his fifth studio album ‘Mr. Morale & the Big Steppers’. The concept of the double album can be referred to as Lamar’s therapy as he pours out his confessions throughout admitting to his infidelity, sex addiction, flaws and new learnings as he battles to overcome his past trauma. Analysing and reflecting on life experiences through some of his most personal and honest tracks to date, the LP is split into two discs, Disc 1 being “The Big Steppers” representing Kendrick filling the void with his vices to avoid his problems and Disc 2 being “Mr. Morale” where he finally opens up and faces his trauma and problems head on.
This is also referenced with the narration and tap dance sounds featured throughout the album, to end track 8 ‘We Cry Together’ Kendrick’s fiancé Whitney Alford says “Stop tap-dancing around the conversation”. On track 5 ‘Father Time’ Whitney expresses to Kendrick “You really need some therapy” which he rejects, she further says
“Yeah, well, you need to talk to somebody / Reach out to Eckhart”.
Referring to Eckhart Tolle a German born spiritual teacher and self-help author, who has a stronger role further in he album. Disc 2 (Track 10) opens up with Eckhart greeting Kendrick (“Mr. Duckworth”) contributing to the narrative that Tolle is playing the role of Kendrick’s therapist, this is further backed up by Whitney following up with
“Session 10 breakthrough”.
The tenth track ‘Count Me Out’ is about Kendrick prevailing over his self doubt as he tries to overcome insecurity, guilt and the wrongs of his past. The music video for ‘Count Me Out’ is the first and only visual depiction of therapy with Kendrick sitting opposite his therapist played by Helen Mirren. The way the song is performed conveys the idea that these lyrics are his confessions with the other visuals portraying all emotions that come with: the loneliness, influence, frustration, shame and success but ultimately showing his fall from grace. “(And I’m tripping and falling)” After addressing and confessing his issues throughout the song, Kendrick is stripping down his ego and killing this part of himself that is preventing him from healing. How hard he has tried and fought to become better, he understands to move on from the wrong doings in the past he must love and forgive himself. As “healing’s only ‘bout a mile away” the music video seemingly ends with Kendrick being consoled by his inner child the source of that trauma.
Although, ‘Mr Morale & The Big Steppers’ was originally overlooked by the masses in the commercial sense, over time it has developed more love and appreciation. The album presents Kendrick as human and that is how he is asking to be seen. Although the art he provides responds with the audience, he is just another person not a God-like figure, he cannot carry the weight of the world.
“The cat is out the bag, I am not your saviour”
With the album being so raw and revealing the vulnerability of Lamar it allows the listener to see through the lens of their own life through your own problems, struggles and imperfections. The deep layers and recurring themes to the album can be analysed and interpreted by the listener in so many ways. I find it hard to put into words why the album and especially the track ‘Count Me Out’ resonates with me and so many others so well but it is definitely a very special song / moment in Kendrick Lamar’s career.
Photography by Renell Medrano
Excerpt from RELOAD VOLUME ONE